Dishing About 90 Days 90 Ways on NBC 9News Denver

It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks. I went from hosting the 19th Annual CUNY/Creative Arts Team’s New York City Student Shakespeare Festival back to Las Vegas to “rest” (if rest means prepping for a book tour, gearing up for Moxie TeleCamp, and leading leadership and communication training for new nurses), and then was off to Denver for a panel, presentation, TV interview, and book signing for 90 Days 90 Ways. In the midst of it all, I came down with a nasty case of laryngitis. I was forced to get real quiet, real fast. Relax. Restore. Re-energize.

In Denver, I’ve been really cognizant of protecting not only my voice but also my energy – sharing strategies and tactics as required, savoring my moments when “on,” and then retreating to my hotel room to rest. (I’ve got quite a schedule these next 4 months, and as my friend and colleague KC Baker says, for each event I have scheduled I know I now need at least one day on either side of it for me.) One of the only “extra” interviews I have granted in Denver was to Dan Steer, a Belgian trainer who reached out to me prior to the ASTD International Convention. Anyone who matches my enthusiasm for setting new employees up for success could not be denied! Dan asked me some great questions that get to the heart of the key ideas in the book – the importance of building effective workplace habits over the first 90 days, creating a stellar day 1 experience, and crafting formal and informal opportunities for young professionals to develop their interpersonal communication and relationship building skills. Enjoy!

Click here to view the embedded video.

What are the ways that you meet your people where they are and support them to get where they need to be? Tweet your responses with the hashtag #90d90w over the next week. The person with the most innovative tip will receive a FREE copy of the book! (Already have a copy? If you win you can send it as a gift.)

Make sure to keep your eyes peeled for a special message from me by week’s end with the full line-up for next week’s Moxie TeleCamp. Have you RSVPd? Get on the list HERE.

Now, it’s time to make sure you get to New York for the one-of-a-kind weekend. For those of you who want to have your Early Bird ticket secured so that you can finalize your travel plans and start connecting with your fellow Campers in our private Facebook group, you can get registration taken care of in moments HERE.

If you’re more of a gambler or are sweating the event fee, you also have an opportunity to *win* your Moxie Camp seat. 3 lucky and deserving changemakers will be given the opportunity to participate for FREE in the Moxie Camp weekend and accompanying pre and post-event coaching calls.

Between TODAY and 11:59 PM PST on Saturday, May 19, the Moxie Camp team and I will be running a contest to identify the 3 women who most need to be at the New York Insight Meditation Center with us from June 29, 2012-July 1, 2012. We want to hear from entrants:

1) What the concept of “moxie” means to you and how you step into yours;

2) The top reasons you want to be at the Moxie Camp weekend, and how it will enable you to scale your impact in your business or career;

3) Why and how the Moxie Camp community will benefit from having you join us!!!

There are 2 ways to address these three points and let us know why 1 of the 3 women chosen should be you. We ask that you please choose just one of the entry options below.

Video Entry

Please create up to a 2-minute video addressing the points above. Be sure you include your name and a brief introduction about yourself at the start. Then A) Upload it to YouTube with the title: “Choose [your name] as a Moxie Camp 2012 Contest Winner” and B) Post the link for the video both on my Facebook fan page and in the comments below. (Creativity in your video is TOTALLY encouraged and your videography skills will NOT factor into the selection process! We are ALL about you and your content.)

Essay Entry

In up to 500 words, use the comments section of this post to write a brief essay responding to the 3 prompts listed above. First, please introduce yourself, and be sure to include any additional info that will help the Moxie Camp team get a sense of your personality and changemaking priorities. Finally, post a link to your comment/essay on my Facebook fan page.

What You Need to Know to Enter

• Moxie Camp Coaches, Speakers, Panelists, and the Admin Team (sans me) will be voting based on the following criteria: ability to articulate how entrant is living with “moxie,” what entrant wants to take away from Moxie Camp, and how she will enhance the Moxie Camp community with her participation.

• If you are competing for 1 of the 3 spots you must be available for the ENTIRE Moxie Camp weekend, and if you are outside the Greater New York City area, able to accommodate transportation/lodging costs associated with being in NYC for the event.

• We ask that if you receive a complimentary registration you pay it forward by contributing a minimum of 3-hours to a project in your company or community that needs your moxie. (The Moxie Camp Team will ask you to share how you gave back with fellow Campers in a future group email…enabling you to spotlight your passion!)

• The 3 women selected will be notified no later than Tuesday, May 29^th.

Want to let other fierce and fabulous changemakers know about this opportunity? Tweet the contest!

In the meantime, remember to get yourself registered for Moxie TeleCamp: A Virtual Preview. Six of our Moxie Camp coaches, speakers, and panelists will be gabbing with me during some content rich calls from May 14-18. You can read full call descriptions and get your access info HERE.

When I was first building my business, I reached out to a lot of people to ask for support. There was nothing more frustrating than harnessing the moxie to craft an email or place a phone call to someone whose story and work resonated with me, and then NOT receive a response. I promised myself early on that I would answer every question I got asked. Always. End of story. But… I no longer can do it the way I have been now that I am receiving dozens of these “pick your brain” inquiries each week. Plus, because I give some pretty darn juicy, detailed, and actionable suggestions during these conversations, I need to walk the talk you expect from me. Therefore, I am no longer undervaluing my experiences and insights by giving away my time and answers for free.

I have devised a more sustainable and mutually beneficial process for making my brain available by allowing you to affordably grab some juice with me. (If you’re going to “pick my brain,” you probably know that I am a green juice junkie. While I’d love for us to drink juice together, you can of course drink whatever beverage you like when we communicate.) As you will discover below, I am offering 3 different ways you can get answers to your questions (A’s to your Q’s)– depending on the level of “picking” you seek, your location, and your budget – while I drink buckets of my favorite brain-stimulating beverage.

1. e-Juice

For those who want to get straight to the business of getting A’s to their Q’s, the “e-Juice” is perfect for you. Simply email me up to 8 questions, and within 1-week, juice in hand, I’ll email you back my responses.

Investment: $49 for email responses to up to 8 questions

2. Virtual Juice

This is the perfect format if you’d like to have a lengthier, more free-flowing conversation. While each Virtual Juice will have it’s own taste depending on what you are seeking to learn, you will want to show up with approximately 15-20 questions and be ready to do some scribing.

Investment: $99 for 45-minutes (I can drink juice with you on the phone or over Skype!)

3. Full Juice Date

This is just like the Virtual Juice only it’s a little longer and it’s face-to-face. If you are in Las Vegas or plan to be, I’d be delighted to grab juice with you at one of my three favorite Northwest Las Vegas juice bars – Go Raw Café, Rachel’s Kitchen, or Daily Wellness.

Investment: $149 for 1 hour (This includes your glass of juice or a smoothie!)

Next Steps: Until payment is automated, you can email me at Info@AlexiaVernon.com with your name, juice option, phone number, and we’ll get your session scheduled and payment taken care of within 48-hours (Please allow up to 72-hours if reaching out over a weekend). Then, make sure to show up to our juice session with all of the questions you’ve been collecting, ready to FINALLY get answers and gain clarity to craft your next steps.

Top 20 “Pick My Brain” Questions I Get Asked

• How did you save enough money to leave a full-time job and create a coaching and training business?

• What are the top ways that you find your clients?

• How have you been able to get corporate coaching and training opportunities?

• Do I need to get certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF) to become a coach? What coaching school(s) do you recommend?

• Should I charge for my speaking? If so, how much? Where do I look for speaking gigs?

• What marketing materials do I need to build my client base?

• Can you help me figure out my professional niche?

• What professional associations or networking groups should I join?

• How were you able to secure a literary agent?

• What are your recommendations for creating a top-notch book proposal?

• How do you successfully run a book launch/book tour?

• How have you grown your newsletter list and built your platform?

• NBC, CNN, Forbes.com, the WSJ…how do you get yourself so much darn press?!

• I’d like to start meditating. What recommendations can you offer?

• I need to find a mentor. Where do I begin?

• I’m thinking of moving to Las Vegas, but a lot of people in my life tell me I’m crazy. Why did you move from New York to Nevada?

• I want to forgive the people in my life who have hurt me, but I don’t know how. What enabled you to unhook from the pain you experienced and the people at the root of it?

• I was abused, and I want to use my story in my work with my clients. What are your suggestions for how to do this?

• You are very open about how happy you are in your marriage? How have you been able to create a thriving relationship?

• What’s the #1 thing you have learned that you never need to learn again?

I look forward to our time together!

Warmly,

Alexia

And every once in a while, I have an off day. The more I speak, coach, and train the less they seem to happen. But as I learned last week, no matter how much you are “on,” sometimes there’s still a disconnect between what is going on in your brain and what is coming out of your mouth. And that’s EXACTLY what happened during my first TV interview for 90 Days 90 Ways: Onboard Young Professionals to Peak Performance.

I had rehearsed my talking points a lot. I couldn’t have been more prepared to speak about how to create a knockout first day experience for new hires, use the communication young professionals can hear and take action from, and so forth, but the lovely hosts of the NBC Vegas Inc. show I was on acted like the great newscasters they are and…actually went off script and started asking me questions based on their genuine interest in the topic of engaging young professionals in the workplace. While subconsciously I was delighted that they wanted to know how to improve their own management style, I was so set on what I planned to say that as I answered their questions I reverted back to my old nasty speaking habits. “So I think” began most sentences. I thew “but” into a lot of my points. At least once I used a word incorrectly. Oy!

The good news about what could have been an all out on-air disaster is that hardly anyone noticed. In fact, some of my friends and family who have sat through a lot of these segments commented, “Lex, you looked more relaxed than you’ve ever looked before. What’s your secret?”

Stepping into your “moxie” isn’t about memorizing material or striving to be word perfect every time you open your mouth. Nor is it about always harnessing courage in daunting situations or consistently getting people to do what you want each time you attempt to move them to action. As I relearned last week, moxie is acknowledging when you are off, forgiving yourself in that moment, and channeling 300% of your energy to demonstrating that you are just fine. It’s a choice that you put into action via effective, easy to perform behaviors. And here are 8 to have in your pocket for when you feel like you are off your A-game.

1. Breathe!

2. Smile…with your eyes as well as your mouth.

3. Use your hands to take your message from your heart toward your audience. Literally.

4. Up your eye contact.

5. Ask a short, easy-to-answer question to your audience. “What has worked best for you?” “What are you committed to doing differently now?”

6. Repeat back people’s names. “Jim, what you are saying…”

7. Express agreement. A “yes,” “great point,” or “I agree” gives you a moment to reset and shows you are engaged with others.

8. Express gratitude. There’s not much a “thank you” doesn’t make better.

And speaking of moxie, we’re just a couple of months away from the inaugural Moxie Camp in New York City, and those Early Bird tickets are go-ing. If you and/or the emerging female leaders in your workplace and in your community haven’t grabbed your ticket, you don’t want to delay. In addition to our fabulous coaches who will be supporting participants to get up on their feet, speak with confidence and competence, and make bigger impact through their careers and businesses, we have close to a dozen speakers such as Natalia Oberti Noguera (CEO of Pipeline Fund, which trains women entrepreneurs to be angel investors), Sheryl Victor Levy (digital strategist for Phil & Co, which provides marketing and communication strategies for social enterprises and nonprofits), and Annie Escobar (co-founder of ListenIn Pictures, which creates digital stories that mobilize action) who will be on hand during the weekend to share their expertise and give you the tools to build a movement around your passion.

from Flickr.com

Last week I did a lot of scripting. Although I had plenty that should have kept me firmly rooted in the present – last-minute 90 Days, 90 Ways book launch prep (more on this next week!), Moxie Camp speaker liaising, and so forth, all I could think about were the home invasions that have been going on in my neighborhood. More specifically, I kept imagining what would happen if my home were next. What I would say as I held my taser to the guilty party. How dare you create a culture of fear in my neighborhood?! Karma’s a b*tch, ain’t she motherf*cker?! Or in my more coherent moments, I forgive you…but you’re not getting my MacBook. Or my juicer. (Fear can make us think, feel, and do some pretty nasty things…as America has been witnessing all too tragically as more and more becomes known about the shooting and death of Trayvon Martin.)

It’s really easy to spend our time planning what we don’t want to have to say – to our colleagues, our friends, our families, our creditors, our neighborhood burglars. But when is the last time you rehearsed what you do aspire to communicate?

This very question got me thinking about the many things I look forward to saying. It reminded me of the importance of replaying them, rather than my fearful words, so that I am energizing what it is I seek… and signaling to the universe that I’m ready for it.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says in his new book, Wishes Fulfilled, “imagination is the Source of all being. It is up to you to channel and use this magnificent endowment to work in the creation of all that you choose to place in that imagination.”

So, here are the sentences, the wishes, I’m most going to be replaying moving forward.

1. I’ve added you to the Moxie Camp waitlist. 2012 is currently full. 

2. Thank you for having me as your guest, Oprah.

3. Congratulations, *Peter*, you’re going to get your teeth.

4. We’re pregnant!

5. I accept your apology. How can I support you in moving on? (Note: While I am as complete in my forgiveness as I can be with this person, I still look forward to the day where s/he takes responsibility for the past so that s/he can experience the healing s/he deserves and can be at peace in the future.)

What do you hunger to have the opportunity to say? How will you use your imagination and self-talk to create it? I invite you to share your discoveries in the comments section. Let’s fill it – as well as our self-talk – with our best projections of what the future will look like.

**********

Are you new to Obstacles Into Opportunities? Hop on the list to receive weekly heart-centered, high-impact communication tips, stories, profiles, events, and giveaways delivered straight to your inbox. And make sure to join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

One of the themes that has come up in both weeks is knowing if and when it’s appropriate to coach. In the following video, I discuss how to know when coaching is the best way to support a person – be it a co-worker, client, friend, or family member – and if the answer is yes, some quick tips to do it effectively.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Want more tips on developing heart-centered, high-impact communication and ethical leadership skills and behaviors? Make sure you hop onto the Obstacles Into Opportunities list to have them delivered straight to your inbox each week! 

from Shutterstock

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” I thought to myself as I was driving home earlier this week. I was listening to a story on NPR about a young man who came home after serving in Iraq, started questioning the legitimacy of the war, became active in the anti-war movement and then…went on back to Iraq for another tour. What a hypocrite!

Of course, no less than 5 minutes after thinking these thoughts my ego brought to light some of my own recent hypocrisy. I started thinking about a presentation I had given the week before. I had luxuriated a little too long in telling a few of my stories and was running low on time. I had made the snap second decision to breeze through my wrap-up. I didn’t share upcoming opportunities to work with me. I didn’t introduce my Obstacles Into Opportunities newsletter. I didn’t even provide my social media contact info. Fortunately, the presentation wasn’t on using public speaking to build one’s client base. But of course that was irrelevant. I knew that I had still been a full blown hypocrite by failing to close and call my audience to action.

I’m pretty sure that the Iraq vet and I are not alone. We all have moments where our behaviors fail to align with our beliefs. Moments when either we fail to take the action we know to be right or take action that runs counter to who we are and what we hold dear. When we find ourselves in these moments, we typically make one of two equally unproductive choices.

First, we call out our breach in integrity to ourselves. And then replay it over and over again. And the more we direct our focus to it, the more we condition ourselves to get comfortable in enabling our hypocrisy…even if we continue to berate ourselves each time we do it.

Second, on the flip side, we try to look as far away from our wrongdoing as possible. Either we bury it in our subconscious, where it can manifest as depression, anxiety, other maladaptive behavior, or disease. Or, we start calling out other people when their actions look like ours. For as long as we’re judging the morality and “right-ness” of someone else’s behavior, we surely must be in our own integrity.

The way out of either of these nonproductive behavioral patterns is to be on the lookout for signs we are out of alignment with who we are. For most people, these signs come as intuitive hits. Either we have an “aha” – our cognitive knowing kicks in. Or our bodies let us know through stomach aches, neck tension, or even through throbbing pain in the knees. Sometimes it can even be an experiential awareness, like I had. You start seeing signs of hypocrisy everywhere you go, each one being an opportunity for us to recognize our role in our own story…if we only are brave enough to capitalize on it.

What’s most important after the recognition is going to the source of why the hypocrisy happened. Did the Iraq vet go back because he felt he had no other career options? Maybe he had a wife and a baby on the way to provide for? Or he felt he had a responsibility to the men and women he served with to stay the course with them? Or perhaps, like me, he simply made a snap decision out of habit?

Understanding why we do what we do is as much about demystifying our drivers as it is about making peace with our mistakes so that we get out of the habit of making them. For until we can give ourselves true forgiveness for the hypocritical choices we make – whether they are dirty and dangerous breaches in our character (i.e., engaging in violence or failing to call it out when we see it) or on the surface, little inconsequential ones (i.e., interrupting someone in a conversation when we pride ourselves on being good listeners), we set ourselves up to make our hypocrisy a reoccurring theme rather than a footnote in our personal history.

But one year, I believe it was when I was in second grade, that all changed. I noticed that my camp counselor was sneaking away at various points in the day with her water bottle. Then, she’d meet-up a little later with the junior counselors and us and be even goofier than she was before. And her breath always smelled a little like Windex to me.

Anyway, one day I was talking about this with some of my friends and our moms and noticed that the moms weren’t as amused as we all were. As I’m sure you can imagine, they were concerned that our counselor was getting drunk while watching their little lambs and called the camp to investigate. My camp counselor was fired.

If the expression “snitches get stitches” was around back in the early-1980s, well, I would have been stitched from head-to-toe. All the girls blamed me for the departure of our favorite counselor. Hula dancing, singing, lanyard making, and cooking weren’t so much fun anymore.

But I still look back at that time in my life – pre and significantly post-tattling – as some of the most fun I ever had. So when thinking about how to frame an event for women changemakers who want to develop the vision and voice to make bigger impact in the world, I was drawn to the idea of structuring it after camp. Only at Moxie Camp, all Moxie Campers will get to shine. (This Mistress of Moxie won’t be having any shame on her watch!)

Whether you work for a nonprofit or social enterprise, want to grow a socially conscious business, or simply aspire to leave a legacy that lets you make your corner of the world a little better than when you found it, I hope you’ll take a peak at my Moxie Camp video, check out the full site for my one-of-a-kind event coming to the New York Insight Meditation Center in Manhattan, June 29-July 1, 2012 and…help me spread the word.

Click here to view the embedded video.

http://aeryssports.com/fishy-situation/files/2011/08/noisepollution460.jpg

Last week I was engaged in a conversation that made me want to run home, climb into my jammies, and retreat in my bed…for years. I was pulled into a conversation by a colleague who wanted to talk smack about another person who I think the world of. It was less than 24-hours before opening registration for my virtual Influencer Academy, so I was in what I thought was tip-top influencer mode. I was telling the person how much I heard and could appreciate her frustration. I was starting my sentences by matching her energy and then intentionally slowing them down and dropping my volume. And I asked dozens of questions, at least half of which were different versions of, “How can we find a solution and move forward?”

But it seemed nothing I could say or ask was getting through. My colleague kept verbally attacking the aforementioned person. She kept rehashing her version of what had happened in the past. And her communication became more and more manic…to the point where I had to say, “I think we need to put this conversation on pause, because I can see we aren’t going to get anywhere today that either of us likes.”

Afterward, we went into a committee meeting. I did my best to make a positive contribution and quiet my mounting body tremors. (Just because I no longer run from other people’s anger and anxiety doesn’t mean that I – or my body – enjoy experiencing them. As a highly-sensitive person, it’s pretty easy for me to get neurologically overstimulated in a jiffy.) And then about an hour into the conversation, I had an “aha.” That the person I had been speaking to earlier had had her own “aha.”

When the person we had been discussing came up in conversation, the woman who had previously been driving me a little bonkers started parroting back some of what I had been saying.

I couldn’t believe it. She was actually seeing the situation, and specifically the woman we had been discussing, through my lens. I had gotten through to her.

This experience has been so illuminating. For it’s easy to evaluate our influence based on an immediate conversation we’re engaged in. And if the feedback we’re getting is that the person or people we’re speaking to are right where they were before we opened our mouths, naturally we draw the conclusion that we haven’t made any impact. And that’s a false assumption. When the stakes are high, oftentimes people need a while to consciously and unconsciously digest what we’re saying, and evaluate it based on their own beliefs, experiences, feelings, and so forth. It’s important that we always allow for this time, and in the interim redirect our attention back to what is in our control…creating a positive experience out of our experience!

Have you ever walked into a room and felt so nervous you thought surely you’d vomit in your mouth?

Does the thought of addressing conflict feel like a machete going straight into your heart?

Have you ever wanted to share how you were feeling but kept mum for fear of ruffling feathers and being disliked?

Are you ready to stop the 24-7 chatter in your head so that you can hear your authentic voice and take deliberate and successful action from it?

If so, make sure you join me on Monday, March 12th from 5:30PM PST-6:15PM PST for my *FREE* call, DON’T CHOKE WHEN YOU SPEAK: How to Increase Impact and Diffuse Nervousness Each Time You Open Your Mouth. (The call-in number is 218-862-1300 and you will use access code 215920).

During our 45-minutes together, I’ll be sharing:

• The 3 questions that will revolutionize your communication
• My foolproof system to say EXACTLY what you intend to say when you open your mouth
• My favorite technique for knowing when to ask questions, when to gab, and when to zip your lips and stay mum
• How to stop vocalizing your thinking (e.g., um, so, you know, like) once and for all
• My top 5 techniques to take your body from physiological distress to physiological success when you speak